As you can see, tentacles are the city over just waiting for the start to be right and to tentacle you I guess. These seem to be after some Stella Artois, but to each tentacle their own. I searched and searched to find a location here with squid nachos, but alas, Providence obviously cares nothing about the content of the writings of its most famous/racist author. Oh yeah, apparently there was some racist stuff that went down in the night as I woke up to this post from the NecronomiCon facebook page:
I had no idea what this was for, but perhaps this was a mystery that would unravel over the course of the day! Stick around to find out! Also it's more exciting than the horror out of time and space a birthed this morning in the bathroom after an all booze and nacho diet...
First up was a criticism course where I learned that French really loved some Lovecraftian criticism, but they also love Jerry Lewis, so take that how you will. Putting the crown on the cake of panels for the day was the friends of Nachonomics boys of the H.P. Lovecraft Literary Podcast, who killed it at their live show as they usually do. Today's tale was one by the controversial August Derleth featuring no fewer than SEVEN Edgar Allen Poes. It was terrible, but made enjoyable by a couple of competent dudes doing it up right. I don't throw around the word hero for just anyone, but bless, nay, #bless, these two American heroes. Even though Chris lives in England now.
Following that was the Yellow Sign panel, which as I have a tattoo of it is kinda my jam. I did find out that the True Detective season one inspiring Yellow Sign author Robert Chambers did not in fact describe the sign and that what I had permanently inked into my arm was the creation of one Kevin Ross for a Call of Cthulhu RPG scenerio. Was it like finding out that Santa Claus wasn't real? I don't know, I don't want to talk about it, shut up, it still looks awesome.
Also up today was the panel on how Lovecraft was a racist, my favorite panel of the show as he was just so comically and cringingly racist by today's standards. Unlike last year when the panel consisted of five old white guys, you know, exactly who you'd pick to lead a conversation on race, this year only had three! And the other three people were women! One of which was from Mexico but was living now in Canada! We did it, racism is over!
So to answer the question as to what the "we're not racist" post was earlier was for, apparently during the opening ceremony some speaker with a honey voice said something about an Islamic Jihad against Christianity that did stick out as a little odd. Not quite odd enough for me to comment on it earlier, although odd enough for the national press to catch wind of it and blow up about NecronomiCon being a bunch of racists attending a conference about a racist author. This is of course not the case, as we all know that Lovecraft, with a cat named "Nigger Man" and author of a poem called "On the Creation of Niggers" which are holy shit racist, was pretty goddamn vile in his beliefs. The argument have the camps of "If you like his works you must be a racist because he was," which I don't agree with, and "You can condemn him for being a racist, and still like his art despite him being a huge racist", which is where I fall. The choice is up to you, but since the internet exists and racist is still a prevalent thing he is still getting painted with the the huge racist brush and everything associated with him is getting splattered as well. While I doubt we'll ever get beyond racism, perhaps one day we can at least get beyond thinking that everyone associated with an individual from a less educated past celebrates every aspect of the individual. END SOCIAL MESSAGE AND BACK TO NACHOS.
Or we would be if I hadn't gone to a Lovecraft Comedy Quiz show starring the H. P. Podcraft boys. Fun things were learned, like that Lovecraft had dinner with harry Houdini once, and the meal he ate was half a cantaloupe filled with ice cream. That's a meal so decadent that I feel it should still be a delicacy today, although the fact that fruit is involved probably kicks it out of the running. If you replaced it was a bacon bowl or something you'd have Denny's newest treat, after they stop selling their Fantastic 4 tie in meal that is. END LOVECRAFT MESSAGE AND BACK TO NACHOS FOR REAL.
You know that place I mentioned yesterday whose kitchen was closed? Well I went back there today to try them again AND NOW THE WHOLE PLACE WAS CLOSED!!! Has a dark and eldritch curse descended upon me? Has Providence gotten word that I'm on the prowl for nachos and in fear of me finding them wanting it is closing every place that serves them? Both are possible, which is why I threw the city a loop and decided to go for the dish at UMELT called THE CHIPSTER: A grilled cheese that was filled with nachos. How's that for a loophole?
"Are those reeeeeeeally nacho?" Well, if you took potato chips and covered them in cheddar cheese and bacon those would be nachos. Is it still nachos if you take that and stick it between two slices of bread? Is it nachos in a sandwich or a sandwich with parts of nachos in it? Well I am of course going to say that it counts as nachos and I have a nacho website so that makes it official. Perhaps this is a case for Judge John Hodgman, but the fact still remains that it was tasty, and that it came with a salad was another plus as my body was crying out for something green and lettucey and not friend or cheese covered. I think living on nachos alone is a younger man's game, but by god readers I am working my hardest to not let you down!
So will this be my last nachos during this incarnation of the NachoProviCon? Possibly, but only time will tell!!! Tune in tomorrow for the stunning conclusion of NACHOPROVICON 2015!
Also before bed I went to the Haven Brother food truck and got a Double Murder Burger with Egg, and then watched some Innsmouth Sea Shanties being sung. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've seen shanties sung with man turning into fish man overtones. Or had a Double Murder Burger with Egg.