Ho boy. As June is apparently nachos-wrapped-in-other-stuff month, we’ve got to climb further down the ladder from Moe’s Sriracha Nacho Stacks to these goddamn things. But the tragic thing about them is that they’re much closer to nachos than a better quality versions of them from a much better restaurant. Taco Bell, you’re like that dung beetle that burrows into the dirt to get past all the other much better dung beetles to bang the lady beetle, namely sneaky, crunchy, and synonymous with poop.
You’ve probably seen the recent commercials for the “Grilled Stuft Nacho”, and no, not the ones that explain why they used the “word” “Stuft” rather than “Stuffed”. I’m talking about the ones that call you an asshole if you share nachos, because as we all know, every time you share an Ayn Rand loses its wings.
So you get a handfull of mess, which depending on how the Tacobelleristas, or KFC-Tacobelleristas if you visit a combo restaurant, could open up on you and spill a nacho mess all over your tray. Now imagine that all over your lap while you’re driving 65 down the highway on an icy day and you’ve got murders aplenty, instead of just that of your stomach.
The Chicken Grilled Stuft Nacho presents in anticipation of mating.
For a fair and balanced judgement I had to try both one GSN with beef and one GSN with chicken. I thought the chicken might be better as it wouldn’t taste like Taco Bell as every item of their food containing their cheesy beef mix does, but foolish me. The chicken one tasted even worse than I would have expected, probably because it lacked the comforting Taco Bell flavor, which even while not good at least gives your taste buds something to hone in on other than losing themselves in the void of chicken cheese mess. The beef one I had next as a palate cleanser while bad as least had the taste of familiarity around it that pulled me back from the limitless void.
Surprise, these aren’t good nachos, however if you visualize them as a kind of crunchy quesadilla, they’re not too shabby. So nachos, no way, strange cheap quesadilla, ok. That chicken one was still pretty gross though, so watch out there.
The black, guitar pick looking thing over the "FR" on the place mat that fell off of my Stuft Nacho was hopefully just some char, and not a guitar pick.
In closing, Taco Bell’s description of the food reads “The Grilled Stuft Nacho is nacho flavors all wrapped up and grilled to perfection in the shape of a giant nacho chip.” I have to say that this was an utter failure in (1) capturing the essence of nacho flavor and (2) being wrapped up correctly, and a partial failure with the grilled to perfection as the guitar pick char would attest. Being chip shaped though, 100% success.
