Every now and then either by evolution or a fluke in genetics there is created an aberration. Sometimes it’s a two headed snake, sometimes a cat with extra eyes, sometimes an eight legged cow. Sometimes though, just sometimes it is an absolute abomination, and sometimes that abomination is made out of chips. Sometimes there are CHIPBOMINATIONS. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. Sometimes.
In days past such freaks of nature were considered harbingers of doom, conjurations of an infernal demon from the corpse rich flesh pits of Hell. What we can now explain away with science and a bad roll of the dice for genes, they attributed to a netherbeast grabbing heaps of flesh and limbs, hodgepodging them together in a blasphemous parody of life. Chipbominations however are neither the work of the devil or DNA gone haywire, but instead more of an engineering problem, and ironically a sign of chip quality.
When restaurants who make their chips do so they typically stack a bunch of tortillas and then slice them all at once into towering triangles of uncooked chips. These towers are then grabbed and dropped into a vat of boiling oil where the separate into single chips and cook into the single layer triangles you know and love. Nothing untoward there. There are some circumstances however where the tower of chips when dumped into the oil do not separate. Whether an accident or guided by an unseen hand, they get boiled and melt into each other like the creature’s final form in The Thing. The result is a crunchy on the outside, hard and not entirely cooked wad of corn on the inside, tasting more of what I would consider a corn cob to taste than a pile of delicious chips. A freak accident.
Or is it?
When Government Scientists accidentally dispose of a barrel of Top Secret Ooze in a local lake, only to have it break open and turn the local wildlife into horrible mutations that go on a killing spree, you can’t say that they were doing it maliciously, it was just a “happy” accident. However, when a Mad Scientist introduces a barrel of his Top Secret Ooze into a local lake to try and turn the local wildlife into horrible mutations hoping that they will go on a killing spree, that’s maliciousness. So the question to you, as you walk by the door to the kitchen on your way to the bathroom and look in to see someone tossing the chips into the vat of boiling oil, take a good long look at them. Do they look like a bumbling character prone to mistakenly creating abominations, or a psychopath just hoping to watch the world burn? Look carefully, your life may depend on it, because one’s chips will be fine, but the others could very well bite back...