When it comes to the world of cryptids (Creatures whose existence is rumored but not yet substantiated by science) the most famous is undoubtedly The Loch Ness Monster. That’s an honorable win, but coming in at a close second, standing proudly in the silver spot, would have to be the Bigfoot/Abominable Snowman class of humanoids. Ranging from six to ten feet in height and covered in thick hair, stories of Wildmen are found amongst the mythology of indigenous peoples world wide, leading to speculation that they’re surviving offshoots of the ape or human species, such as the Gigantopithecus, or possibly interdimensional beings. Needless to say, many questions about the wild creatures remain. What are they? Do they actually exist? How have they remained hidden for so long? What are their favorite type of nachos?
And would they wear these shirts?
At this point none may know the truth about the noble creatures/savage beasts, but at least Bigfoot Food and Spirits at the Seattle-Tacoma Airport’s North Satellite makes Sasquatch themed food, such as Bigfoot’s Nachos Ur Way. While it is unlikely that any human sized portion of food would satisfy a ten foot, 500 pound creature, I appreciate the theme, if not the text culture use of “UR”, of which I’m sure Bigfoot would not approve of. One day I had an hour layover in the concourse and figured it would be the perfect time to see if the nachos lived up to the monster’s reputation. That was the plan at least, but we all know how things work out when concerned with air travel.
Unsurprisingly, there were some delays with my arriving flight and my lengthy layover was reduced to not much of a layover at all. Sure, from a traveling aspect the less of a layover the better, but not when it comes to planning to eat at a restaurant during said wait. I arrived at my gate with minutes to spare, only to find that Bigfoot Food and Spirits was located less than thirty feet away, laughing and mocking me. The next fun event was that my connecting flight was delayed, but only by about twenty minutes, not nearly long enough to sit down and get an order of nachos. Soon the twenty minutes turned into forty minutes which turned into an hour delay, until it reached the point where if I had known how long the wait would have been from the get go I could have eaten and had time to spare. But what would be the point of the airlines telling us poor chattel passengers anything about how long the wait would actually be?
I was standing at the X, less than twenty feet away from the monster’s nachos.
During this whole ordeal I stood (Almost all of the chairs had been removed from the gate area for some reason) and stared enviously at the restaurant where plenty of happy people were chowing down on nachos while I had no food and could look forward to a five hour flight that didn’t even serve snacks. I know, I know, First World Problems. Still, when you can’t even get nachos anymore thanks to the airlines, the terrorists have truly won.