I am a gentleman who likes sampling a tequila or two, or through the place I go to in town with the Tequila Club, over 100 different kinds. Indeed, undoubtedly there is another parallel dimension where instead of Nachonomics there exists a Tequilanomics and I have become a horrible alcoholic. This isn’t that however, and I always figured that an establishment with 100 tequilas would be as tequilaey a restaurant as I would find in my life, and it was. Until I found La Campana.

You know when you go to a TGI Fridays or an Applebees or a Red Robin and they have all kinds of goofy stuff on the wall to show how Americana and nostalgia they are? La Campana is kind of like that, but with a Mexican spin for their Mexican food. As such, of course they have tequila, but where most places only have whatever super cheap well tequila and maybe Patron is their fancy stuff, La Campana has 200 different kinds of the “agua de vida”. Two. Hundred. My liquor store doesn’t even have 200 different tequilas for sale. Hell, all the liquor stores in my county combined probably don’t even have 200 different tequilas for sale. I was entranced.

Sadly even with 200 options they did not have Cantear, the greatest tequila ever crafted by man, but to be fair I believe they went out of business in the mid 2000’s. And what’s the only way to get yourself out of a lack-of-your-favorite-tequila depression? Why, getting some more different kinds of tasty tequila of course! So I did just that, and said, “Ah, what the hell, guess I should get some nachos too and eat something to write a review about.” This happened as follows:

I got my flight of Lunazul, which for the money is an excellent tequila, and my Nachos Especiales with steak, rather than the other chorizo/beef/chicken/shredded beef options, because, as we all know, steak is the meat that meat is made of. I had read the menu and knew what to expect with my nachos, or thought I did at least. Spoiler alert, I had no idea what the waiter was going to drop off at the table.

Pickled jalapenos are a totally and universally accepted topping on nachos with roots going back to the very jalapenos Ignacio Anaya placed on the first order created. Pickled carrots and pickled celery however not only do not have a place on nachos, but also not a place in this plane of existence. Perhaps the alternate dimension where Tequilanomics exists they might, but here, never. This method of vegetable pickling isn’t out of the ordinary in restaurants, but apparently I’ve just never encountered it before consuming mostly New England based nachos. I suppose it makes sense that a region of the country steeped in the tradition of putting giardiniera on everything would invite other pickled veggies into the condiment mix, especially on a food item known for being covered in whatever food toppings are around.

You know what, I apologize. If there is anyone who shouldn’t be judging about what you want to put on nachos it should be me. Just because I think something is gross on nachos doesn’t mean that you will, and that is the spirit of nachos, they’re a melting pot of edible diversity limited by only your dreams of what an order of nachos can be. I may not agree with your choice of toppings, but I’ll give my life for the right for you to put whatever garbage you want on your own nachos.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to get preachy, I just meant to come and talk about nachos. Anyhow, these nachos were pretty tasty, the refried beans really gelling with the flavor of the cheese and meat. Also you can get almost any tequila you can think of, including the $250 “Jose Cuervo Aniversary” shot, which is roughly what 10 orders of nachos would run you. The most I’ve ever paid for a single shot of tequila was $60, and that was definitely not worth it, so this must be at least 4 times better right? When it comes to super expensive tequila I will give you the same advice I would give you for if you encounter a super expensive order of nachos and that is, “If you have the money to spare, blow it on whatever super expensive consumable you want, because whatever the story is it will be worth it.”