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The Business of Nachos
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The Business of Nachos

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Review: Doritos Mix Taco Explosion

June 25, 2016 Nachonomics

WOAH WOAH WOAH! WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS? I SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW/RSS "NACHONOMICS", NOT ANY "TACONOMICS" RELATED BULLSHIT! HOW DDDDAAAARRREEEEE YOU TRY AND PAWN OFF SOME LOW GRADE TACO SHENANIGANS AS HIGH QUALITY NACHO MATERIAL? JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE MISTER, HUH? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!

Worry not friends. As you will see this Taco Explosion is made up of chips flavored (1) Salsa (2) Sour Cream (3) Taco, and (4) Spicy Nacho. Now, if you take taco out of that mix you have nacho chips, salsa, and sour cream, all members of the nacho family! Sure, there isn't any of the other tasty stuff you'd like, but the same general flavor is there, albeit all in chip form. I don't think you can really call these nachos anymore than you could call a scoop of cheese ice cream, a scoop of jalapeno ice cream, and a scoop of chip ice cream nachos, but it's close enough for government work as they say. Really, I've only heard Stephen King say that, but he's pretty folksey when writing so I imagine someone else might say that, at least in Maine.

THE PLAYERS

SALSA

I might agree that this tastes spicyish, like a salsa does, and might pin that down as "salsa", but the fact that this is such a compact nugget of a chip detracts from that a little bit. It's a little like eating a dried up chunk of salsa that may have hardened to the side of the salsa container when you put it back in the fridge rather than regular loose salsa. Ugh, never define any sort of food as "loose".

SOUR CREAM

When I eat this I don't think "Sour Cream", I think more "Cheetos". Perhaps the sour cream flavor is so sleight that it is overpowered by all the chips bits and dust floating around in the bag, but if someone put one in front of you and said "What flavor is that?" I wouldn't pick sour cream. Like the salsa chip you're also trying to compare two different states of matter, solid to pretty much liquid (Thank god it's not a Bose-Einstein Condensate!), which isn't an easy ask either.

SPICY NACHO

These are just Doritos Spicy Nacho flavor of chips, or if not they are so similar to spicy nacho chips that you can't tell the difference from memory. Well, maybe YOU can, but not I. Maybe if you had the two of them right next to each other you could tell them apart, but otherwise I don't think so.

TACO

We're not talking about these here. Go check out Taconomics if you want that.

TOGETHER

Don't know if I would call it "nachoey" so much as just "chipey-with-some-mexicaney-flavors-and-spicesey". Part of the whole deal with nachos is that you are getting a bunch of different flavors AND textures, which is not the case here. Just just having three things with the same texture, even if they are different flavors, doesn't quite cut it.

Are these nachos? No. Are these even close to nachos? No. Could you use them as part of nachos? Sure, but they're pretty much just chips, no matter what the flavors say. I've never tried nachos where there are all different shapes and styles of chips, so maybe you could be the first one that does and let me know! I think really if you want "nacho" chips you have to go to DORITOS DINAMITA NACHO PICOSO, although I'm not exactly what country I'd need to go to to get that...


In 2016 Tags Review
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Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

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