Nachos Time: Nachos in the News - A convenient mouthful of short form nacho news, topped with the cheese of truth, jalapeno slices of journalism, beans of education, and other toppings of various questionable informative analogies. We bring you nacho news one chip at a time.
Welcome to Nachos Time, for when nacho related things happen in the news, but nothing in depth to write a real article about. Here’s what’s been going on with nachos recently:
ON NACHO BURGERS
When you hear of Make-A-Wish kid making a wish, it’s usually something silly, because they’re kids and don’t know any better, but every now and then a child comes along that wishes for something awesome, like meeting Hellboy, or having a nacho burger made in their honor at snazzy burger joint Slater 50/50. Per their official description:
“Inspired by Make-A-Wish kid Justyn and his a love for nachos, this beef patty is topped with melted cheeses, lettuce, onion, tomato, black beans, bacon, tortilla strips, fresh salsa, and guacamole. Wrapped in a flour tortilla and deep fried, we smother it in nacho cheese sauce, sour cream, and sliced jalapeños.”
Ok, usually I’d go off on a rant about how these aren’t nachos, but really when you’re deep frying a tortilla that turns it into a chip, and a chip shell around nacho toppings is probably the best you’re going to get in regards to a portable nacho burger. Not necessarily, but probably. 20% of the proceeds from the burger will go to the Make-A-Wish foundation, so you better get this limited bad boy while it’s available this August. If you miss out you’ll just have to settle for their Jalapeno Bacon Mac n’ Cheese, or “Peanut Butter and Jellousy”, their peanut butter and jelly covered burger with a side of Vampire Dip and bacon brownie for dessert.
UPDATE: See how this beast is tamed, or made, here.
ON NACHO MOUNTAIN
Do you like yourself some snowboarding? Do you like yourself some nachos? BOOM. This is for you.
What even is this? Some kind of contest involving Legos and close up nacho porn, or a contest by snowboard paraphernalia company Airblaster? I have no clue, but the idea of snowboarding down a mountain of nachos does appeal to me, despite not having any snowboarding skills whatsoever. Oh well. Just give us the $500 of nacho please. #NACHOMOUNTAIN
ON DINOSAUR NACHOS
Dinosaur nachos? What kind of childish nonsense is this? Hear me out now, because this could be potentially delicious should you find yourself sent back in time.
Recently paleontologists have determined what kind of dinosaur meat would taste the best, by looking at the diets and daily activity of the creatures. Comparing them to modern creatures, the fat to muscle ratio, plus what they ate (carnivorous dinosaurs were probably much gamier than their herbivore counterparts) greatly dictated their flavor and allowed the dinosaur gourmands to figure out the finest cuts or saur. The winner of the choice cut being the fine neck meats of your Brontosaurus’ and Apatosaurus’, and the losers being your major predators, such as the T-Rex:
"When people ask me if a T-Rex would be good, well, I don't think so," David Varricchio, professor of paleontology at Montana State University, says. "They've found jaw abnormalities that suggests they were eating fetid meat and had diseases that came about from prey items. They would be pretty parasite-laden."
So what does this mean for you? Currently nothing really, but if you were able to go back in time and didn’t have any buffalo chicken handy, you now know what dinosaur to catch for a topping. Not the T-Rex.