Both J.R. and Derek select a story that they admire and discuss it in depth. J.R. picks Harlan Ellison’s “The Whimper of Whipped Dogs,” a mean-spirited explanation for why New Yorkers are such grouchy people, which persuasively presents a vicious moral premise; and Derek selects Jon Padgett’s “20 Simple Steps to Ventriloquism,” a how-to manual for using Greater Ventriloquism to become a vehicle for great cosmic suffering. J.R. also saves you $5,000 on transcendental meditation courses. Everything is coming up garbanzo beans baby!