Hey remember that time you went to that restaurant and you ordered those nachos and they gave you some and you were all like “But this has all those ingredients that I don’t like and none of those ingredients that I like”? Of course you do, and if you say otherwise you’re only lying to me and, even sadder, yourself. But what if I told you that you can have the power in your hands to create your own nachos, with toppings of your own choosing? Madness you say? Nay I say.
Read MoreEssay: July 4th - A Patriotic Salute to your Craw
Like many of you, I plan on spending the 4th of July doing two things; loving America and watching the Coney Island Nathan’s Famous Competitive Hot Dog Eating Competition. This contest of consumption, the Super Bowl of the competitive eating sport, pits twenty men and women against, if not the scum of the meat product world (That distinction goes to Spam and the other potted meats) then it’s inbred cousin, the hot dog. Why does this food get raised to such a level of glory above all others? Is it its apple pie American-ness? A phallic fixation? The congressional lobbying of Big Meat Slurry? Who can say.
Read MoreEssay: Chips and Dip are not Nachos
I was at work yesterday (that’s right folks, sadly nacho skills do not pay the nacho bills) at a party celebrating the end of the fiscal year when I heard some dialogue that disturbed me to the bone. Not having the time to bring in my custom nacho maker (Originally designed to be a stand alone pizza cooker, I modified it for my chip related needs) to make nachos there on the spot, I took the easy way out and just brought in some chips and queso fundido. It’s a good thing queso fundido is my favorite thing to eat after having my jaw drop, because one of the ladies there stated “Oh, you brought nacho.”
Read MoreVideo: Goodbye Nachos
There are few people with a voice sexy and sultry enough to sing about nachos, and even fewer who could sing about the heartbreak of having to say goodbye to them. Fortunately for us, Jumoke Hill embodies both.
Read MoreEssay: Nacho Regrets - Nachos As Big As Your Ass
As some of you may know, this past week featured an astronomical event that won’t happen again for another 105 years, The Transition of Venus. Now, where I happened to be this occurred during the middle of a rainstorm, so not only did I not get to see it, but I won’t live long enough to see it again. Even if a magical elixir was invented that could extend life to the next event in 2117, I live too fast and hard to survive to that ripe old age. Truthfully if I’m not dead from burning the candle on both ends in the next five years, I’d be surprised. While I will live without seeing a little dot in the sky go across the sun, the event did make me think back to all the other things in my life that I’ve missed or won’t get a second chance to experience again. And by other things I of course mean other nacho related things.
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