There has been a lot of news recently about a certain gas station in California that happened to sell a certain pasteurized process cheese product of the nacho variety that happened to contain the Clostridium botulinum bacterium and that also happened to kill someone and send nine others to the hospital. Now there are many myths about dying from eating gas station nacho cheese going back to ancient Babylonian times, but when human lives are on the line it’s time to separate the fact from the fiction and let you know the skinny on Botulism. Also, what are you doing eating nacho cheese from a gas station to begin with?Read More
How often do you go out for Cinco de Mayo? I mean, yes, once a year, because that’s how often it is, but what I’m talking about here is how many times HAVE you gone out for Cinco de Mayo in your life? Perhaps you are some sort of young person and have the stamina to go every year and make a fool of yourself, or maybe you are like me and just don’t have the patience to wait in line forever so you went out this year because you hadn’t been out on actual Cinco de Mayo in who knows how many years and figured, hey, you write for a nacho website, you ought to get on the ball here right? Right indeed, so I decided to hike up my pants, empty my nachos stomach, and head out to Plaza Azteca on the evening of May 5th.Read More
5 Years. 5 years of nachos. If this website was a human child it would have already gotten its fifth dose of the diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis immunization, as well as its second dose of varicella. If it were a human child it would be in first grade. If it were a college student it could complete an undergraduate degree and have taken a year off to “find itself” in between its freshman and sophomore year. If it was an octopus it would have just brooded its eggs six months ago, because it takes 4.5 years for an octopus to egg. But Nachonomics is none of those things. It is a website. A website about nachos.
Here’s what 5 years of writing for a nacho website gets you:
- 83 different nacho reviews from all over the United States of America and at least two other countries.
- 27 at least senior year of college level essays on nachos ranging from Cazu Marzu: The Most Dangerous Cheese on the Planet, to one about if you weighed 99 lbs and ate 1 lb of nachos are you 1% nachos, to one about the dangers of making nachos in space.
- As there are three posts about nachos a month for now 60 months, when you subtract the combined 110 reviews and essays that leaves you with 70 other random posts about nachos, all of I’m sure amazing quality and value, them being free.
- Membership in The Nacho News Network, the world’s leading collection of finest curated nacho websites from across the internet.
Now I’m just a poor kid on a computer constantly losing money month after month from hosting a nacho website that nobody cares about, but look at all I’ve managed to do for dish! So don’t let you being just another poor kid with a computer and a love for one singular food product stop you from starting a “________onomics.com” website of your own to review said food product! I know I’m personally looking forward to the day when I stumble across a “Cubansandwichonomics”, or “Scorpionbowlonomics”, or especially a “Waldorfsaladonomics” (allow me to personally recommend to you this here version of the salad), so somebody, ANYBODY, get on that please. Your ambitions are only as limited as the determination of your tastebuds, and remember, any dream that can be eaten is a dream that can be fulfilled.
In the sleepy west of the woody east is a valley called the Pioneer, home of the largest public university in New England, the University of Massachusetts Amherst (it’s educational). It is also home to infamous radio station WXXT, a park with a bunch of fossilized dinosaur footprints along a riverbank, and The Quarters, which google tells me is the only “barcade” in central Massachusetts. The Quarters in turn is known for being the only place, possible in the world, where you can get Tetris Tater Tot Nachos.Read More
I am a gentleman who likes sampling a tequila or two, or through the place I go to in town with the Tequila Club, over 100 different kinds. Indeed, undoubtedly there is another parallel dimension where instead of Nachonomics there exists a Tequilanomics and I have become a horrible alcoholic. This isn’t that however, and I always figured that an establishment with 100 tequilas would be as tequilaey a restaurant as I would find in my life, and it was. Until I found La Campana.Read More